I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
