Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
