He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm going to jail i love you
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my being single is dangerous.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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