normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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