Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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