Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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