for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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