if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
