...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
