WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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