u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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