She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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