she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
