I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
