also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
