you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
