Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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