I am spending my child support on dildos
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
