im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
