You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
