I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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