Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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