am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
