How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Boobs are out for the taking
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
