mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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