She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
