her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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