i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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