You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
