i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
