i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
