if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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