why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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