the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
