oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
accomplished twins. life is a go
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
