I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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