I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
birth control should be required to get into college
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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