So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Randomize
