the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
