I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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