I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize