Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
