hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
