you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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