Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
tell me about the fingering
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