Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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