I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
