Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
