if i can run in heels then i can drive
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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