You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
