Can i not drive my cunt home
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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