I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
