Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How external is "for external use only"?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
