i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
