Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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