he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
