i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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