that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
