It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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