if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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