I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
