I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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