She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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