Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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