Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
