The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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